Conan the Barbarian
Thief. Warrior. Gladiator. King.
A horde of rampaging warriors massacre the parents of young Conan and enslave the young child for years on The Wheel of Pain. As the sole survivor of the childhood massacre, Conan is released from slavery and taught the ancient arts of fighting. Transforming himself into a killing machine, Conan travels into the wilderness to seek vengeance on Thulsa Doom, the man responsible for killing his family. In the wilderness, Conan takes up with the thieves Valeria and Subotai. The group comes upon King Osric, who wants the trio of warriors to help rescue his daughter who has joined Doom in the hills.
Wokeness: 0%
Overall Score: 100%
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User Submitted Reviews
Andre Santamaria
Vintage Arnold Schwarzenegger killing bad guys.
This is a great movie. A bit dates of course, but designed for nothing more than your entertainment, the way movies always used to be! Arnold Schwarzenegger is a hulking barbarian in a fantasy type of realm sans the Tolkien style fantasy creatures; just human on human sword play mixed with some light plot and dialogue. An action classic!
Created: 02-05-2023
Pha-Q woke
Created: 05-08-2023
NoWo
Smashing movie, mismatch of stolen parts
The character is not Howard's Conan. Conan is strong, but also strong-willed. Cunning. Opportunistic. Free. Primal. Unfettered by civilization.
This version is captured as a child, enslaved and taught in arenas.
The product of higher combat education. The antithesis of Howard's character. Funny tidbit, Stone worked on this script; one can hear the Viet-Nam influence. So ya think you're gonna live forever?
Schwarzenegger was not an actor at the time, even less so a leading man. Yeah, he improved, but he was 'just' a strongman with tons of confidence. I mean, they had to redo the script to minimize his talking parts.
Bergman was not an actress, she was a chorus line dancer; maybe that's where she developed her fantastic physicality. Lopez, well, he was a surfing champion, and a friend of Milius.
Said Milius had the intelligence to mix his newcomers with seasoned actors, chief among them Jones and Von Sydow. Mako, also. The seasoning that sells the meat.
The secret ingredient is the score, though - with all due respect to Mr Jones -.Granted, Poledouris was heavily 'inspired' by Prokofiev. He was in a bind, and the result is amazing, so I deem his sin redeemed.
The score blows an epic wind throughout the movie. The first 20 minutes with barely a word spoken, and finally: "Conan, what is best in life?". Genius. Milius used this scene to sell the producers on the movie.
He never got anywhere close to that again. But he fought pretty hard to make this movie the way it is, so that's praise well deserved.
As a Conan movie, this is mostly a miss. As Heroic Fantasy, it's the dog's bollocks.
Created: 07-15-2025
