Johnny Depp

Charlie Mortdecai

Gwyneth Paltrow

Johanna Mortdecai

Ewan McGregor

Inspector Alistair Martland

Paul Bettany

Jock Strapp

Jonny Pasvolsky

Emil Strago

Olivia Munn

Georgina Krampf

Jeff Goldblum

Milton Krampf

Michael Culkin

Sir Graham Archer

Ulrich Thomsen

Romanov

Alec Utgoff

Dmitri

Guy Burnet

Maurice

Paul Whitehouse

Spinoza

Norma Atallah

Bronwen

Nicholas Farrell

Auctioneer

Karl Theobald

Gardener

Michael Byrne

The Duke

Carly Steel

Krampf's Third Wife

Jenna Russell

Detective

Austin Lyon

Hotel Clerk

Ricky Champ

Sergei

Chris Bearne

Farmer

Colette O'Neil

The Duchess

Michael Shelford

Sedgewicks Worker

Junix Inocian

Fang Fat

Jamie Bernadette

Bikini Babe (uncredited)