Carlos Alazraqui

Deputy James Garcia

Mary Birdsong

Deputy Cherisha Kimball

Robert Ben Garant

Deputy Travis Junior

Kerri Kenney

Deputy Trudy Wiegel

Thomas Lennon

Lieutenant Jim Dangle

Wendi McLendon-Covey

Deputy Clementine Johnson

Niecy Nash-Betts

Deputy Raineesha Williams

Cedric Yarbrough

Deputy S. Jones

Lennie Loftin

Chief of Police

Danny DeVito

District Attorney

Alejandra Gutierrez

Miss Acapulco

Brandon Molale

Kevlar Guy

Kathryn Fiore

Cheyenne the Helicopter Model

David Koechner

Sheriff of Aspen

Dave Holmes

Persnickety Desk Worker

Patton Oswalt

Jeff Spoder

Toby Huss

Glen the Desk Clerk

Cathy Shim

Spring Break Dream Girl

Ian Roberts

Captain Rogers, DHS

Chris Tallman

Alligator Expert

Paul Rudd

Ethan the Drug Lord

Marisa Petroro

Drug Lord's Girlfriend

Kyle Dunnigan

Drug Lord's First Hostage

David Wain

Breen the Plumber

Todd Holoubek

Tattooed Guy

Michael Patrick Jann

Tattoo Shop Owner #1

Nick Swardson

Terry

Brian T. Finney

Decontamination Guy

Irina Voronina

Russian Model

Steve Little

Drug Lord's Second Hostage

Joe Lo Truglio

Tattoo Shop Owner #2

Ken Marino

Deaf Tattoo Artist

Kevin Allison

Tattoo Victim

Eric Price

Wrestling Referee

David Veach

Dangle's "Body Double"

Mary Castro

Wiegel's "Body Double"

Michael Ian Black

Ron of Ron's Tattoo

Michael Showalter

Paul

Mindy Sterling

Spoder's Mom

Paul Reubens

Sir Terrence

Jack Plotnick

Steve Marmella

Oscar Nunez

Jose Jose Jose

Floyd Van Buskirk

Proctologist

David Cohen

Policeman (uncredited)

Tracy Dali

Bike Cop (uncredited)

Rico Devereaux

Smoking Cop (uncredited)

Dwayne Johnson

Rick Smith, S.W.A.T. (uncredited)

Theresa Joy

Roller Babe (uncredited)

Kent Kasper

Alabama State Trooper (uncredited)

Alyssa LeBlanc

Stripper (uncredited)

J.P. Manoux

Naked Armenian (uncredited)

Jill-Michele Meleán

Southern Spring Breaker (uncredited)

JT Mollner

Newspaper Reporter (uncredited)

Bobby Silva

Bartender (uncredited)

Aaron Takahashi

Japanese Tourist (uncredited)

Jason Williams

Police Officer (uncredited)

Jaime Zevallos

Police Officer (uncredited)