Jurassic World Rebirth

SUPER WOKE

It’s starting to feel repetitive—so many movies follow the same formula. The white woman is portrayed as the brave, smart leader, often telling the white men what to do. Black men are shown risking their lives and being the most selfless or kind, while the white men are either villains or portrayed as weak. It’s becoming predictable. Besides all that the movie wasn’t bad I liked the Dino’s.

Great entertainment overall but the woke elements were obvious and annoying

Of course the "good guys" had to be a Mexican family. They are the helpless innocent victims and the white man is evil and corrupt.
Other than that tedious cliché, the film was good fun!

Serviceable, if not great, Jurassic film, mildly woke

Obviously, the diverse DEI Mexican family being portrayed as the "heroic family" was annoying and heavy handed, as this is most likely virtue signaling in retaliation for Trump securing the border. Otherwise, there are some mild, more subtle commie-sympathetic elements, with the shady biotechnology firm risking lives for the sake of the plot. 6/10, Not bad, not great, serviceable, but also underwhelming for a Jurassic film.

Straight, White Male? Oh No!

Within the *literal* first minute of the film, a straight, white, male lab tech—Hollywood’s favorite new whipping boy—fumbles his candy bar wrapper into a security vent, short-circuiting the system and triggering a catastrophic containment failure. Naturally. Because nothing screams “credible plot device” like reducing the sole representative of the so-called patriarchy to a bumbling idiot for easy narrative blame. Why not heap the failure of an entire facility onto the lowest rung of today’s victimhood hierarchy while you're at it?

And then there’s the door itself. Of course, containment doors—famously known for their totally realistic air vents just waiting to suck in trash, because that’s what high-security labs are all about. And naturally, anything that gets sucked in—say, a candy wrapper—would *completely* disable the entire mechanism. Because in this universe, billion-dollar safety systems are apparently engineered with the fragility of a toy from McDonald's.

Oh and his female colleague has to leave him trapped with the Distortus-rex he's just loosed so he can be the first to get eaten. As the jaws crunch I bet he's wishing had been born a dyslexic, black, trans women with a handicap. Then "she" would have waltzed through the whole movie.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the film’s heroine, a so-called “spec-ops” soldier—because when I think elite dinosaur-slaying badass, I *naturally* picture a 125-pound Hollywood starlet with contour-perfect cheekbones and the physical presence of a yoga influencer. She’s not just surviving prehistoric death machines—she’s outwitting, and outpacing them in boots that wouldn’t survive a puddle. And of course, she’s not following the grizzled, muscle-bound male survivors—no, *they* need *her* leadership, *her* brilliance, *her* steely-eyed resolve to survive. Because in this cinematic fantasy, evolution bends to the demands of gender optics.

And of course, no modern blockbuster would be complete without a shoehorned “diverse” family to round out the studio’s DEI bingo card. Enter the token Hispanic family—dropped into the plot with all the subtlety of a corporate PR memo. They contribute nothing to the story, have no meaningful impact on the outcome, and might as well be wandering in from another film entirely. But hey, they’re there, and that’s what matters, right? Representation for representation’s sake. Go Hollywoke!

Woke

Another terrible Jurassic world movie if you can even really call it Jurassic world at this point. Where's the dinosaurs? These are some kind of mutant alien looking things. Outside of a couple of the leads most of the acting is pretty terrible and the VFX are all over the place. Some scenes look very well done then others look half finished or rushed really low quality stuff. The story is just garbage and makes no real sense. The evil rich white man they want you to hate is only 'evil' because he's
a capitalist who works for big pharma and is spending millions to develop a new drug. Then there is the Spanish family, the most
pointless annoying DEI insert in recent memory. They serve no purpose whatsoever to the plot or anything in the movie. Their acting is abysmal, they are so insufferable stupid and annoying, I was pleading with my TV for them to be eaten, but I knew it would never happen. There are only really 3 white males in the group and the only portrayed as good is the beta, liberal who wants to steal the samples from the Pharma company who literally is paying for the entire trip and services and then release them into the world for opensource medical development in some implausible socialist utopia. Two of the 3 white males don't want to rescue the Spanish family. 3 of the only 4 deaths in the movie are white people. 2 of them are 'bad' white men, one of them is a completely random death of a white female with hardly any screen time anyway and 1 black male who dies nobly saving others. Johansson's character as the
lead mercenary wasn't as bad as I expected and thought she is a bit miscast she never went full girlboss or overpowered feminist. Then
there is the writing, my god doesn't anyone read these scripts first. Your trapped on an island with creatures everywhere that can kill you and you go crashing around screaming your lungs out every second of the movie. There is no attempt at hiding or stealth and they make every effort to get themselves killed. This brings me to the creatures. They aren't even that threatening. They all move so slowly and just ignore people right in front of them or just stand there for long periods of time looking at them doing nothing. Then they just give up right away and walk away. This is most apparent in the single T-Rex scene that is laughable bad. There is a giant T-Rex somehow laying down hidden in what appears to be 5' of grass and nobody sees it. Then it just ignores or watches the Spanish family that it should of been able to kill many times over in this scene before ever so slowly going after them. It snatches up a blowup
raft and chews on it for a solid 20-30 seconds just to drop it without a single hole punched in it. Then loses sight of the family behind some rocks and just gives up and walks away. A similar scene takes place in a huge wide open valley where there is nothing but grass about 5' tall. Then suddenly dozens of massive towering creatures just stand up out of the grass like they were invisible. The Spanish father severely hurts his leg and says he can't walk then swims to shore with no problems and is walking around then 2 minutes later can't walk again without leaning on a stick. They all jump out of the boat into the water with creatures everywhere when the boat is speeding toward land and about to beach itself 10 seconds later. Why would you do that!!?? There's more but you get the idea. If you liked the last one then maybe you will like this as well otherwise stay away.