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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

All pirates must die.

Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Capt. Jack Sparrow feels the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost sailors led by his old nemesis, the evil Capt. Salazar, escape from the Devil's Triangle. Jack's only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, but to find it, he must forge an uneasy alliance with a brilliant and beautiful astronomer and a headstrong young man in the British navy.

Wokeness: 20%

Overall Score: 60%

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NoWo

Wokeness: 1/5 Overall Score: 3/5

Getting long in the tooth

It's an entertaining movie, reusing the same character, same jokes, same visuals, and basically the same plot.
But all that is getting a bit tired and cliched. It's lost its spark.

Depp, Rush and Bardem are beyond reproach, as expected of such experienced actors. Same for the supporting cast, including Sir Paul (McCartney).
Thwaites and Scodelario are decent enough; they're young actors with a rather bland script, and neither has the presence to shine through that.

Scodelario's character get that woke point, though. Not girlboss, but unsufferable know-it-all, despite getting humbled (without learning humility) throughout the movie.

The male (and thus dumb) characters work because they're caricatures, and manage to succeed despite their flaws. The female "lead" is the opposite: she's incredibly realistic (I've worked with her too many times), and manages to need rescuing despite all of her much-professed-but-never-witnessed qualities. Basically, an extension of the movie's McGuffin, allowing the plot to move on to the next scene.

Still, the movie is somewhat entertaining, mostly due to Depp's involvement, thus highlighting how incredibly stupid Disney's corpos were to antagonize him over that whole false accusation shenanigan. Him and his fans. Threw the golden goose out with the bathwater they bought on OF. Morons. Well, corpos, same thing.

Created: 07-25-2025

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