A Minecraft Movie

It’s just a mess.

This isn’t woke, it’s just a mess.
Well, actually, it does have some woke elements, but it’s so all over the place that the woke stuff is the most coherent part. Honestly, I’d recommend watching something else—unless you’re in it just to see Jason Momoa in his best role. Yeah, no joke, he's actually not bad. Sure, it’s super cringe at first, but then he kinda becomes the best thing about the whole movie... and even that gets ruined by the movie itself. Anyway, it’s really only worth watching if you’re high and hanging out with friends.

P.S. Don’t do drugs, kids.

Slop

I gave in to my youngest wanting to see that.

This movie lacks a script, a director, and maybe someone to red-light the project before this mess was made.

Giving it a 1 for a few jokes slipped under the radar.

Momoa does his best to save his character, but polishing a turd only gets one so far.
Black is, well, par for the course in this dog and one-trick pony show. Crude over-acting, stupid singing and awkward homosexual overtones. Pinnacle of humour.

Not rating wokeness too high, as there's no overt political agenda. Except the white girl-boss. And the black loud female. And ineffective, stupid males. White, obviously. Even Black.

All-in-all on par with the Hoskins Mario movie. Or Dacascos' Double Dragon. Or the later Mortal Kombat installments.
It's so bad, it should have been directed by Uwe Boll.

How does something this awful gross almost 1 billion dollars. I only lasted about 40 minutes so the woke may get worse but all I saw was the
obese body positive DEI female who has no problem with athletics. There seems like they were also starting in with the female smart and capable men stupid nonsense but I'm not sure. The FX are actually decent but the acting writing and story are terrible. I'm not sure who this is actually for other than maybe kids it's all so stupid and dumb. Characters just magically know how to do things without being told within the new environment. What year is this supposed to be anyway. Everything looks like it's the 70's, clothes, cars, homes and furniture, but Garrett was the champion in 1989 and that was well in the past. Then there are references to the internet and social media as well as smart phones. It's just really lazy bad writing.

Not as bad as I was expecting.

This movie reminded me of a mash up of Shallow Hal and The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It has all of the chaos and non-sequitor sort of humor that pops up in British comedies from time to time, and if you aren't a fan, you won't like this movie either. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but it also isn't trying to.

The CGI is actually ok and very colorful, which makes it sort of fun to watch.

Jack Black is Jack Black. He is the same sort of lead as he was in many of his other films, which is to say, he capitalizes on Stupid Humor, so I think that's where this movie was trying to go, rather than the woke mentality that white men are dumb.

That said, there are woke elements to the movie. There's a wannabe girl boss and an overweight black Mary-sue who is not only a successful real estate agent who moonlights as a lama farmer, but also somehow instantly an expert in all things minecraft, specifically at killing zombies? She's annoying, but fortunately she's really just a side character who mentors the wannabe girl boss.

Speaking of, the wannabe girl boss reminds me of real life women who think they can come in and host a meeting and somehow be totally in charge. The girl boss attempts to host a marketing meeting, but the movie kind of pokes fun at her, since the meeting is set up in the side of a warehouse and almost no one attends.

The lead character is an awkward boy who is an inventor. He seems like a reasonable character.

Jason Mamoa is unexpectedly funny, but just as over the top as Black.

Overall, I didn't care for the movie, but given it's similarities to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, I can see why some people would find it amusing.

I did allow my son to watch it after I screened it, and he thought it was good. He noted some parts were "boring", specifically the girl boss girl bossing, and the parts of the movie that followed the Mary-sue. The movie is clearly intended for younger, grade school aged children.