PurpleSanz's Reviews
Lazy Writing At Its Finest. BORING AF.
Jeez, where to begin? Ok, other than the forced DEI here in there for all the extras, it's not really woke, it's just a bad movie, a very bad movie. You can tell that the actors tried their best with what they had to work with, but other than Victor (the dad), no one is likeable, not even Jackie Chan himself. The dialogue is boring, the story is lazy, the villains are absolutely meh, even the soundtrack is weird and it tries so hard to scream "retro" but fails.
Remember how the villains were actually threatening and intimidating on the previous movies? Remember Johnny and all the Cobra Kai guys?, Kreese?, Chozen?, Sato? TERRY fucking SILVER? They would kill you, destroy a village, ruin your image, or at least make your life so miserable in so many ways! Thus leading the main character to find help and ultimately a solution to the problem! That's what Karate Kid is been all about, but not this movie, oh, no!
If you are expecting an exciting climactic tournament with lots of rivalries, taunts, and lots of tension building and a thrilling fight at the end, NOPE, not even that. Oh, you were expecting amazing training scenes with lots of cool ideas and stunts? NOPE, not that either. It will NEVER make you feel like the fight is even necessary, it will never make you feel invested at all.
Honestly, the only enjoyable moments are when the story focus on Victor, who is strangely super likeable for some reason, but that's only a little bit of the movie. Now that I think about it, his scenes are the only part of the movie that actually feel like Karate Kid, isn't that sad?
If you are a fan, DON'T. Seriously, don't.
Created: 07-21-2025
The beginning is actually good...
...but that's pretty much it. It fools you into thinking this is actually a decent Die Hard clone for the first 20 minutes or so. The main character is ok, Jason Bateman as the villain is fantastic, Dean Norris is always a pleasure to watch, and the story is your typical Die Hard / Speed wannabe, no problem there.
But it is Netflix, and we all know what that means: of course it HAS to have forced DEI, a man saying "my husband!", a butch black woman making the cringiest face expressions and walking ever, another woman who is clearly more calm and focused than the main character, and another gay man doing something heroic out of nowhere. Not to mention the obvious female politician involved in the story.
If that weren't enough, the script becomes very stupid very fast, with lots of cringy moments (like the car scene, one of the cringiest scenes I've ever watched in my life), lazy writing moments, and situations that are just unnecessary or make no sense at all.
Honestly, at this point, I will just start avoiding everything Netflix releases from now on. I'm so tired of this crap.
Created: 01-05-2025
The Woke of the RoHERrim
I have seen many people claiming this is not woke, just because the main character is "not an insufferable girlboss", but you could not be more wrong.
Yes, the script cleverly tries to deceive you into thinking Héra is not bossy, nor too strong (more about this later). But of course they have to show you how smart she is, how wild, free, "untamable" and important she is, how she is the fastest rider, how talented for combat she was since childhood, how she can even trick a huge scary creature into killing another huge scary creature so easily, and how she can even befriend the Great Eagles at the very beginning of the movie. *Facepalm*
Everytime she says or suggests something and the dumb men won't listen to her, something bad has to happen, because she always HAS to be right.
Very early in the movie and also at the end, she makes it very clear that she needs no man and "she will marry no man", even if this should be one of her most important duties as a princess, since the story takes place in a medieval age. But the hell with that, because of course, she is a free and adventurous spirit that can just ditch her responsibilities if she wants to, because fighting patriarchy is what matters the most!
This is supposed to be the story of Helm Hammerhand, and yet, the lame excuse for his death in this movie is to save Héra, of course, stating she is "the true leader that Rohan needs" and she could even "rule the world", because... yes, there is no reason, she does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING during the story to deserve that praise. NOTHING.
Remember how I mentioned how Héra is not portrayed as "strong"? Of course that has to drastically change immediately at the final confrontation when she is fighting a MAN, easily stopping his arm, pushing it back, pinning him down to the ground and finally killing him BY HOLDING THE SMALLEST SHIELD EVER AGAINST HIS THROAT WITH ONE HAND!!! Are you f*cking kidding me?
In the original story, Fréaláf Hildeson (Helm Hammerhand's nephew) is the one slaying Wulf, saving Rohan and claiming the throne, but here, he is just like: "Oh, Héra, the throne rightfully belongs to you, but since you don't want it, I'll take it... but it should be you!". It's forced, lame, cringy, embarrassing.
If you see it just as a movie fan, it sucks; If you are a LOTR fan, it sucks three times more; If you are a Tolkien fan and know the original story, though... It's an abomination. Just do yourself a favor and skip this one.
Created: 12-16-2024
