Awake not Woke!

Ad for doorbells with a storytell

Apparently a lot of people can spot how wokish movies are, but nobody noticed this is basically another "War of the Worlds–Ice Cube" kind of movie made just to advertise their doorbells. In every scene that shows some "found-footage" of something that happened around the guy, THE brand (oh, what a coincidence!) "Ring" appears.

A Proper Bloody Film

Who the hell can look at this film and say it’s woke? Are you taking the piss? Honestly, if you think ALIENS is woke, just go read a dusty old book or play solitaire, you absolute melt. Leave the cinema alone. This is proper film-making. A proper story. A bloody classic, the way they used to make them. Well written, well acted, entertaining as hell. The kind of film you watch with a massive tub of popcorn and walk out happy. The hippies running Hollywood right now should be forced to watch this on repeat. Maybe then they’d finally learn: just tell a fucking story. Stop shoving “the message” down everyone’s throat like it’s medicine and we’re all naughty children. We don’t need a lecture. We need a movie. ALIENS is an excellent, proper classic. Popcorn entertainment done right. Now that’s how you do it, you bunch of pretentious bastards. Take notes.

After seeing the trailer and reviews I had to give this a shot. I normally like these types of movies, a throwback to the weirdness of some of the 80's and 90's films. It's watchable I guess but not that good either. It's one of those movies where they just make everything as weird as possible just for the sake of being weird. The acting is fine but the CG is very inconsistent, notable the creature FX are pretty bad. The story is barebones and makes little sense, actually the whole movie is kind of silly and the final 30-40 minutes falls all the way into over the top comedy. This was originally written as a single episode of the short failed amazing stories revival from 2020 and never filmed. The director then turned it into this movie. I would say it would of worked much better as a shorter episode of an anthology series than what this turned out to be. I don't know how this is getting woke free ratings either, the minority overrepresentation is pretty heavy everywhere you look. There's the token butch female assassin and then the Ugandan born black female FBI agent is hilariously cringe levels of DEI casting.

It could’ve been a good series

What could’ve been an excellent show, they completely threw it in the trash. SPOILERS: They had the perfect casting that any Spider-Man Noir fan could dream of. Nicolas Cage was absolutely perfect for the role. BUT NO: Why give the fans what they actually want when we can shove in "the message" by cramming in a fat “body positive” chick who lectures and moralizes the alpha male of the series, telling him what he can and can’t do???? Like Rings of Power, the Amazon producers decided to pull the same shit again. Fuck u AMAZON and all the Sony producers who suck three dicks and don’t give a flying fuck about what the fans want. No. Just no.