Awake not Woke!

This is typical Statham and most of his movie are pretty much the same at this point. If you like them you will probably like this one as well if you can take the lazy nonsensical writing. Right at the start there is a storm that just comes out of nowhere magically. One minute there's nothing and the next there's a bad CG big storm. There is zero chance that small child is going to launch that boat and paddle back out in those waves. Then the much larger trawler instantly capsizes and sinks while Statham's tiny little dingy has absolutely no issues whatsoever. At least the action scenes are good though right? Well the first real action comes at about 40 minutes in and features one of the most inept hit squads ever put to film. Apparently they only employ the deaf and blind, diversity I guess. The 'action' and fight scenes themselves are slow, dull and just generally boring. Then when one of them goes into the cabin and grabs the child he reports 'I have the girl'. What? She's just some random unrelated girl he saved from drowning that no one knows is there. Her presence should of been a complete surprise yet they appear to be looking for her. The child actor is pretty bad and at this point spends most of her screen time with a vacant deer in the headlights look. This includes one the dumbest movie tropes of a nail gun firing nails across a room like a gun independently of any air hookup. The absolutely ludicrous club scene was where I couldn't take it anymore. Statham fighting, shooting people and stabbing them in the neck with broken glass in the middle of dozens of people in a club and not one person notices or cares. After that garbage I don't care how it ends. All leaders and power positions are held by women including the prime minister and girlboss black female head of MI6. General DEI overrepresentation in casting. This little girl saves Statham not once but multiple times.

"Ugly stepsister" has a manly voice and looks like a man with makeup & "other stuff." Gender-confused wolf? Otherwise, nice comedy movie.

Shows some she-he cross dressers

I went into this knowing nothing about it or the Stephen King short story it's based on. I thought it was a straight forward cursed object horror movie and wasn't to impressed until well into it I realized it was a horror comedy. Knowing that suddenly makes the whole movie much better. There's nothing scary and all the very over the top gory kills are more funny and cartoonish than anything. The comedy works and it feels like a Final Destination movie with a heavy dose of dark humor. The acting is good notable the lead actor who plays 2 very different roles as twins. One weird thing is the first part is set in 1999 and I thought I saw it wrong and it was 1979. Never does it ever feel like it's in the 90's and when it jumps forward 25 years to 2024 it feels almost the same like it's still the same time period. It's a bit strange but doesn't overall hurt the movie. The only thing woke is a couple of DEI casting choices and a group of DEI school girls bully the white male boy. It's very short scenes and barely warrants a woke rating, but it's there so it gets a 1.