NoWo's Reviews
Off-licence Street Fighter
This is more a Street Fighter movie than the official SF movie, also starring Van Damme.
Ensemble cast of fighters, all visually and stylistically very different, about as much plot as a porno (hello guys, I'm here to FIGHT), and of course, a tournament.
This movie also features a young Whitaker, fresh off Platoon and Good Morning, Vietnam. And then, yep, Bloodsport. Before moving on to Bird. Go figure.
Yeung is as fearsome as ever, and Van Damme sets a new world record for over-acting. Both in duration and intensity.
And yeah, the whole Frank Dux thing. As the closing credits remind us, he set the record for most KO in a single tournament: 56.
If one has to slog through (at least) 56 opponents, it's not a tournament, it's an RPG. Or DBZ. Or an RPG based on DBZ.
Seriously, with a standard direct elimination setup, that's >10^16 participants.
But hey, that's the 80s: unabashedly boasting, and flamboyantly moronic.
Created: 09-21-2024
A good first season marred by a mediocre second
Season 1 is pretty good, visually pleasing, and does seem to stick to the books, despite some forced diversity on Neagley, but the actress carries it well, so, whatever. Goodwin does a smashing job as Finlay.
Season 2, well, has many issues, first amongst which is that it is somewhat tedious and boring.
The show-runners have made a concerted and quite possibly ill-advised effort to make room for female empowerment. The Hollywood sort, not anything relevant. This, at the expense of the main protagonist.
This in turn somewhat breaks the character, as I, at least, wonder how one can be successful in one's chosen career while being an indecisive, submissive bitch.
Ah well, another one bites the dust.
Created: 09-21-2024
Quirky sci-fi from my teenage years
I'm totally partial here.
Still, good, unpretentious 80s movie, with MacLachlan hot off successes like Lynch's Dune and Blue Velvet, so basically still unknown.
Created: 09-06-2024
Masterpiece in its genre
Director Ang Lee does nothing to hide his love for wuxia movies.
The photography is just splendid, although the movie may be starting to show its age, from a purely technical point of view.
The lead actors are, well, Michelle Yeoh, who is graced with both talent and beauty, and Chow Yun-Fat, who's earned every bit of his reputation, despite staring in some incredible stinkers.
The guy still looks smooth as silk with a shaved head and potato-bag robes. Impressive.
They need no praise beyond their own names.
As far as politics go, this is stupendously conservative by current standards.
All the actors in this Chinese period piece are, well, amazingly Chinese.
Characters are preoccupied with duty, to the point of personal tragedy.
Damn, they probably did not have modern audiences back in 2000.
The script itself may feel contrived to some extent. It is. It's wuxia. A certain naivete is inherent to the genre. Might not be for everybody, though. Not really for me either, but the movie is good enough that I overlooked its shortcomings.
Created: 09-06-2024
Vintage woke is a thing now?
Full disclosure: did not watch past the 2nd episode, and pretty quickly was doing something else during the time.
Also disclosure: I grew up on the books, and take exception to a few alterations from Jackson, so there.
Very obviously lots of money in there, except it didn't go to the script. Or dialogues. Or casting really, although it was very charitable on their parts to give jobs to palsy victims.
Stallone made a career with half his face paralyzed. But it was only half. And he had talent.
Many shots look expensive. As in, how lack coherent cinematography can ruin a huge budget. And then you're left buying your Hobbits on Temu.
The woke is very retro: no lecturing, no pushing pronouns (yet, I guess), but man bad, white bad, girl good (scratch that, girl best, obviously), and severe case of the gay bug I would hazard.
Created: 09-01-2024
Accurate, relentless and mesmerizing
Historically accurate, at least enough to fool me.
Visually stunning, even in its gory moments.
I will note that the photography results from some rather extreme choices.
The showmakers seem somewhat fed up with the technical perfection of high-resolution digital cameras, so they paired them with some pretty retro anamorphic lenses.
I'm sure the gear was top-shelf and appropriately expensive, but I do mean retro as in 70s era Hollywood newcomers. Apocalypse Now comes to mind.
So, be ready to embrace blur, softness and chromatic aberration at the edges.
I does help build a visual identity, but I did find it distracting at times.
The cast is nothing short of stellar, both in its collective performance and dedication.
Apologies to the Japanese actors, who apparently re-trained in period-appropriate speech, their efforts push far beyond my capacity to appreciate them, but I can barely believe Bastow learned Japanese in a few months for this role, and with such results!
As for the story itself: I will not spoil it, but it is ruthless and heart-wrenching.
The title says it all: this is the story of a warlord.
Regarding wokeness: this show is accurate to a period when people did not have the luxury of utter stupidity.
So, no.
Created: 08-31-2024
It's amoral, repugnant and gripping
The rise and fall of an arms dealer during the end tail of the 20th century, with a large side dish of unflattering history from the ex-Soviet block and West Africa.
Cage's emotionless delivery does wonders for his barely human character.
One could argue the movie portrays small arms as the root of all evil in Africa, thus ignoring a more complex reality, but well, it's still good.
Created: 08-30-2024
Atrocious, lazy cash grab, even without the woke.
A committee of gen-Y liberal arts majors (so, a few millions worth in student debt) used a Chinese AI to extract visuals from the games, and fed print-outs to a troop of monkeys. And from the collective, collected, fermented poop emerged the script for this one.
That’s my version anyway.
They (whoever they are) lost any piece even remotely worthy of interest from the games’ writing. No back-story, no plot, no nothing.
The biggest offense probably being Roland. I mean, it’s not rocket science: name is Roland, class is Soldier. This character’s concept is obviously Paladin.
Roland from the games is this calm, collected man whose strong moral compass provides a counterpoint in a fun but nihilistic universe.
Here, we get Hart. So, hyper-active, try-hard, unfunny. At least they got the colour right. Then again, they never get that hue wrong, do they.
The rest of the cast is a trip down memory lane. I’m old enough to remember when Gershon was hot. And Blanchett was hot. And Curtis was a scorcher. Yeah, that old.
Here, they just look jaded and old. And boring. Welcome to Geriatric Park.
As opposed to the rest of the cast, who are downright aggravating.
As for woke: no direct preaching at least, just an all girl-boss cast, swapping all males out (Krieg and Roland are very secondary), dumbing everything down (I guess that’s to be inclusive).
All the good stuff that stands in the way of a good script.
Also, counter-woke element: for once, the red-head (Lilith) doesn't turn into a black woman at casting. Eat your heart out, MJ.
Trying to find some positive: I think I heard a few bars of Muse’s Supermassive Black Hole as background music at some point.
Nice.
And Motörhead later on.
Cool. Worth 1 point.
Created: 08-30-2024
It's a sequel
And as such, it fails to capture the quirkiness and poetry of the first installment.
It's by no means a bad movie, just not very good.
Regarding the main preoccupation on this site: one can clearly see the mount points for wokeness that were hastily disarmed.
There is no lesbian arc as such, but the possibility is very real, and the politically-oriented (intellectually challenged) fanfic writers will probably attempt a righteous rally on the hill Disney chose not to die on.
That is actually my feeling after watching this movie: Disney has capitulated. It cannot afford to finance --the message-- anymore, and one can almost see the contours of the empty spaces left by the hasty removal of boss girl, butch girl, quota-hire girl, and stupid white male.
It is a sad state of affairs for Disney when almost-apolitical mediocrity is a huge improvement.
I wish them a death mostly free of pain. Also, quick if possible, but that I wish for my own benefit.
Created: 08-22-2024
Fun Ryan Reynolds vehicle
Let's be honest, Reynolds carries the whole movie here. Main role, credited among producers, and a firm named "Maximum Effort" involved in production.
The other actors are quite adequate, they just don't outshine the star.
Waititi is quite good as a villain: he's callous, arrogant and loud-mouthed. Oh wait, he's not acting.
The inclusion of real-world internet celebrities was maybe not the best move, as they don't translate so well to the big screen. Then again, what do I know, especially about them?
It's fun, it's colourful, it's well-paced, and it's very Reynolds-y. Sort of goody-two-shoes Deadpool.
I did tick the woke elements box, as the movie does tick some woke talking points, mostly as throw-away lines, probably intended to throw the mentally-challenged a few bones while not irking normal people.
The movie itself clearly does not toe the party line; all the good guys are white, while the main antagonist and his de facto crony are both they/thems of colour.
Not that I care, but it will probably ruffle feathers among the 81 millions. Those in actual current existence, that is.
Created: 07-21-2024
