Pha-Q woke's Reviews
Wasted Opportunity
Large amount of DEI casting. All the men are either morons, betas or villains. All male police force is corrupt or bumbling idiots and the only ones who are competent and not corrupt are the 2 Asian females. Awkwafina as a cop is laughable. She is 5'1 beating up on large men 2-3 times her size. Head of the crime family is female. The acting is decent but the humor is just silly and terrible and never lands. The horror is also a miss. The splatter gore effects are pretty good and this could of been a good cult classic if they dropped the stupid humor and made it more serious horror.
Created: 02-12-2024
Absolutely Woke, But Still Not Terrible
This is definitely woke. Right from the start Mario and Luigi are complete bumbling idiots and it never changes. Peach is a complete Mary Sue girl power badass. Luigi is now the damsel in distress and Peach runs the whole kingdom since the Toads made her their leader.....because reasons. The trials obstacle course Mario fails at repeatedly even with a power up and NEVER EVEN COMPLETES! Peach says she completed it right away but it's because she grew up there. Then why have the trials at all since all the Toads were born there and with that reasoning they should too. Her and Mario then go to leave on their quest and all the Toads ask who Mario is, her response, "he's not important" In fact the whole movie the only time Mario is not a failure is with a power up. Luigi spends the entire movie as a coward sniveling in the corner and only finally redeems himself when he and Mario defeat Bowser, but only with an invincibility power up, that Peach provides them with. Peach never needs a power up, for anything, she is perfect. This should have been called the Super Mary Sue Peach Movie. Despite all this it's still not the worst movie ever. The animation is very good and there is a lot of hidden easter eggs for long time Mario game players. Younger children will probably enjoy it more. Just be aware there is a heavy dose of girls better than boys messaging in this one.
Created: 02-12-2024
Boring But Not Woke
Not really woke although the guy is a total beta. Admittedly I gave up at the 45 min mark so there could be something later. Acting is ok but the story is just boring and not funny. It's basically just 2 strangers telling each other stories about their failed lives and experiences. It's not terrible just completely middle of the road humorless boredom.
Created: 02-10-2024
Infantile Toilet Humor With DEI
Extreme DEI casting in both voice and human characters. There are almost no white human characters to be found. Also several rascist anti white comments from the Jamie Foxx character which is not surprising as he's a openly rascist p.o.s. Also a scene with 2 male and 1 female characters where the male asks the other 2 if they want to all 'kiss for a while'. Movie ends with all the dogs holding down and mutilating a white male's genitals. This might be the stupidest movie of the year. Not funny at all. Nothing but poop and dick jokes that only a challenged pre teen might find humorous. This should be watched by no one....ever.
Created: 02-09-2024
Horrible Adaptation
Not really woke but a bully who calls people queer in the movie is possibly gay and likes to dress up in his mothers clothes. This is not in the book and was added only for the movie. The acting is not bad and they did a good job making it feel like the 60's. This has very little to do with the book though. The novel is a collection of 5 stories that all take place over different time periods linked by the same people. This is only the first story called Low Men in Yellow Coats. The original is a very dark, sad loss of innocence story with horror and supernatural elements. This ties in directly with The Dark Tower series of novels. For the movie all of this has been removed. No horror, no supernatural, no Dark Tower. Just an old man with ESP and a boy talking. Many things in the film make no sense either because large chunks of the book are left out resulting in some events just sort of happening with no context. The mother also is a terrible, vile, abusive man hating person in the book, not here, she's a completely different character. Also the ending is completely different, there is no happy ending in the book. Skip it and read the book instead.
Created: 02-08-2024
No Woke, Great Movie
No woke in this. Great acting and story. Dialogue is minimal with most of it being narration in his head by the main character. A lot of people didn't like it apparently but it works great in the context of the film. It is not an action filled movie but what is there is well done and brutal. It is also not a fast paced movie but it never gets boring. Woke free entertainment as it should be. Definitely worth a watch.
Created: 02-07-2024
Woke Australian Modern 'Horror' Without Any Scares
Multiple DEI hires including the lead black female in Australia. A country with a 3 percent black population. Also a main character is trans played by a trans actor. Horrible horror movie without any scares whatsoever. A bunch of unlikable stupid gen z characters doing stupid things. Boring with pretty bad acting especially by the main black lead as usual for a DEI hire. Film makers are more worried about checking those woke boxes than making an actual well written entertaining movie.
Created: 02-04-2024
Usual PG-13 'Horror'
Woke is DEI hires and white daughter is immediately infatuated with the first black boy that talks to her in school. Good acting but no horror to be found. Loud noises going for jump scares in not horror. Flashing pool lights at night is not scary. How many times can someone lean out over the edge of the pool slowly reaching for something floating just out of reach. Also it's a minor thing but the father who retires from MLB due to illness seems to have been a very successful player for some time given comments and his age. The wife mentions early that they just managed to get insurance through her work? How the hell would he not have insurance? Bad, bad writing. Pass and go watch some real horror.
Created: 02-01-2024
Definitely Woke But Can Still Be Enjoyable.
Covers most of the woke talking points including feminism, anti-white racism, black victimhood, alphabet mafia. Some of it is done in a humorous make fun of it way but not all. The stories are mostly entertaining despite that with good voice acting and humor. Still worth a watch in my opinion.
Created: 01-30-2024
Low Budget, Seen It Before.
Some DEI hires and a girl boss with horrible acting and one of the worst 'WTF were you going for' accents I've ever heard. Unoriginal story with average acting all around. Mostly boring with some bad writing.
Created: 01-24-2024
