Pha-Q woke's Reviews
Watchable Only For the Decent FX and Kills
DEI heavy casting. Terrible acting. The writing and dialog are bad. I didn't realize until half hour into the movie its actually supposed to be a comedy/horror. Unfortunately that doesn't make it any better as the comedy isn't very funny. The story is very cliché and has been done to death. On the positive side the FX are actually not bad and the kills pretty well done. There is plenty of blood and gore on screen and the action starts early. Be prepared though if you do watch this it's another movie where all the characters are very unlikable so you just want to see them all die anyway.
Created: 01-01-2025
Not a Good Sequel Unfortunately.
This is a step in the wrong direction after Godzilla vs mechagodzilla II. The acting isn't as good. The Godzilla suit doesn't look as good. The sequences in space look terrible. The fx in general look worse than the last one. The blending of godzilla with the structures and city all looks off. While there is still a lot of action it doesn't look very good and distracts from what going on.
Created: 01-01-2025
Another Boring PG-13 Horror Movie
Another mixed race couple-black female and white male. The acting for the most part is about average with the notable exception of the lead male Sam Claflin whos acting is terrible. This suffers the usual problems most of these PG-13 horror movies have. The absence of blood and gore due to rating means they need to rely on atmosphere, sounds and visuals for their scares. This fails completely. There is nothing
scary at all here. I mean the sound of a zipper going back and forth at night is just silly and makes these scenes laugh out loud funny.
Pretty sure that's not what they were going for. The story has been done to death with these kinds of monster movies by now and there
is no originality at all. The writing again is very bad. They hear noises inside the house at night and assume there is an intruder though
they don't see anything and the next day the entire police force is crawling all over the house and yard in full body major crime scene csi suits. They are shown to be heavily in debt, defaulting on payments and broke yet later somehow are able to have a security company install a full house system. This is a boring, bland paint by numbers PG-13 horror movie that does nothing to stand out.
Created: 12-30-2024
An Actual Good Horror Comedy
I didn't notice anything woke. Finally a horror comedy that gets it right. The acting is generally pretty good and the story while
silly recognizes it and embraces it. The humor while not always on point mostly works and has no problem poking fun at itself and other
horror entries with plenty of easter eggs littered throughout. While I wouldn't call it scary it is plenty bloody and gory and the kills
are never boring with plenty to see. The FX are generally well done though I think the invisible raptor could of been done a little better.
While definitely not perfect and maybe not for everyone it is most importantly a fun, enjoyable and entertaining movie without any of the
woke pandering.
Created: 12-29-2024
A Solid 90's Godzilla Movie
A big step up for the franchise. A lot of monster action and the special fx look very good. They actually hold up well even today.
The close ups on monster faces still look off and baby Godzilla is a bit corny looking. The acting is pretty good. The non Japanese actors
are again the worst of the bunch but this time even they aren't too bad. The story while still a little out there in places isn't bad
and this is a generally enjoyable watch that's much better than most recent entries.
Created: 12-29-2024
Yet Another Unfunny Not Scary-Horror/Comedy
A group of 6 male friends with the must have black and Spanish token inserts for the box checkers. Some white people bad, natives good and wholesome bs. Then there is a out of nowhere scene with a bunch of racist homophobic rednecks in a bar. The scene just happens
all of a sudden and makes no sense whatsoever. There is a black deputy in a small backwoods Michigan town in the 80's-DEI.
Average to bad acting from most of the cast. Karlos is notably bad, made worse by the fact that his acting seems to get worse
as the movie progresses. His character is supposed to be some kind of hardened badass combat vet, but he just comes off as a
douchebag try hard wannabe. The dialogue and jokes are awful. This is supposedly 1986 but it doesn't feel like it's in the 80's
at all, if anything if feels more 90's. These so called friends don't really act like they are actually friends at all. They are oddly upset and act like some random bartender they met for 1 hour was one of their lifelong best friends. Nothing makes sense. There is a scene where one of them catches a quick shot of the creature on a camcorder and they all takes turns watching it at full speed and not a single one thinks to hit pause
to see what it is they are looking at. It takes to 59 min mark for the first kill in an 85 minute movie and when it finally happens its offscreen and the aftermath fx look bad. The exploding CG truck looks worse. All the kills are fairly tame with nothing you haven't seen before. No humor, no scares. It's too bad as there are some very well shot scenes and the cinematography is generally very good.
Created: 12-27-2024
Terrible Cliché Unfunny Mess
The usual casual anti white racism that is ever present in these all black movies. The acting is average the story is the same old tired poor black business being shut down by the evil white man for code violations just must be saved because it's a staple of the black community. The jokes are eye rolling and not funny. The whole thing is just too stupid. The filmmakers didn't bother to even know the most basics about the game of bowling. 30 minutes was all I could take so the wokeness may get worse later on.
Created: 12-27-2024
Failed attempt At Grindhouse
Nothing woke. This is a terrible movie. But it's supposed to be. It's meant to be a grindhouse style action comedy gorefest, and it is. That means bad acting, bad FX, bad dialogue, silly story and weird cuts and editing. If you enjoy these types of movies you may like this one. For me it was a bit much, these movies are best when they are made to appear to be a serious attempt that turns out bad. This just feels like it was made to be bad and it doesn't work as well because of it.
Created: 12-24-2024
Another Social Media Focused Bottom Feeder
Lesbian couple is the focus of the 'story' if you can call it that. Bad acting. Weird jarring editing and cuts. Random flashes of static images inserted into scenes. The whole cast of characters is internet famous annoying social media punchable idiots. Who do directors keep populating their movies with horrible unlikable characters? Once again this is NOT horror. It's a bunch of annoying characters talking, arguing and screaming at each other for 95 percent of the movie and then throw a little 'horror' in for the last 10 minutes. It's trash. There's
isn't even any good kills, scares or gore.
Created: 12-17-2024
No Comedy, No Horror
This is another failed comedy/horror. The comedy isn't funny and there is no horror to be found. The acting is not so much bad as it is bad directing. This type of story has been done before many times and there is nothing original here. I was bored and ready to give up by the 30 minute mark. The fx are ok but it's not worth sitting through the entire movie for. There is some DEI over representation and it may get more woke further into the movie but I didn't care to waste time finding out.
Created: 12-17-2024
