All User Reviews

ew

Can't stand this show. It's pro offing unborn babies ect and promoting lgbt stuff

There are some episodes kinda woke.

Way better than the last Jurassic Parks!

I gotta say, this movie is actually good! Not some instant classic or anything, but definitely entertaining. I started watching it super skeptical, but honestly? It’s what the last Jurassic Park should’ve been instead of that woke snoozefest we got.

This one actually feels like the old-school ones, the kind that took themselves seriously, not just trying to sell action figures to kids, but to really give the audience a good time.

I’ll be real: when it comes to FX, it’s nowhere near Spielberg-level magic, and yeah, you can tell AI had a hand in some scenes… but it’s still fun to watch.

Anyway, if you’re in the mood for a solid popcorn flick with a bit of that classic cinema vibe — I totally recommend it. Oh, and about the “woke stuff”? Yeah, there are a couple of small inconsistencies here and there, but nothing major — like a 1 out of 5 on the woke scale, tops. I won’t even tag it as “mild woke” because, honestly, deserves a chance.

Movies like this are exactly what we need more of, films that don’t try to moralize us, but just want us to chill on the couch, grab some popcorn, hang with friends or family, and have a genuinely good time.

Enjoy it!

If you liked the series, and the last final movie, you'll probably like this.

It could be said that there is a bit of wokeness on this movie. The main theme is a divorced woman of nobility who, by tradition, is shunned by society. The story is set in 1930 when divorce was still a shameful thing. Divorcees were pariahs to be avoided. The homosexual character, Thomas has a boyfriend. There was no apparent agenda involved. It was just incidental.
The story of Downton Abbey isn't exactly my cup of tea. This was well done, with great acting. It would've been better if it was done when Maggie was still around.

The usual small female physically manhandling much larger trained male's in some cases literally throwing them around. This was.....not good. The acting is pretty dismal all around and the story is extremely generic and unoriginal. I'm not sure what's going on with Kate's voice here. It's so deep and raspy and just off but sometimes it suddenly sounds normal. I'm not sure if she's doing a voice or if's been digitally altered but it's noticeably odd. There's not that many action and fight scenes and what's there are poorly choreographed and are dull and boring. For some reason they decided to have her dressed in a black leather trench coat and high heeled boots the entire time. It looks ridiculous and is completely impractical for a CIA agent in the field in an active environment. On the plus side it's always a good laugh watching her awkwardly stumbling around while trying to run those heels. She just looks awkward and unnatural in all the action sequences actually. This suffers the usual lazy bad writing syndrome. For instance she's being chased through a building and easily rolls a carton on a cart with wheels against a swinging door to slow her pursuers and for some reason 2 adult men are unable to simply push the door open against the cart. She decides a stealth rooftop entrance to a building is best achieved by using a giant very loud drone with huge lights all over the underside. An SUV in a head-on collision with another vehicle visibly launching itself into the air before impact.

Dan: WOKEISM!!!

Dan vs. Wokeism

Historically inaccurate

The movie portrays Germans from 1929 who left the Weimar Republic but lies in its intro that they are fleeing the rise of facism. Which wasn't yet a thing in Germany. But leftist only know one thing.

Mid Film Made Worse

Just watched it on Amazon Prime.
I was very disappointed to see that almost all my predictions about it came true based on what I know woke writers would write.

The protagonist is the typical charismatic educated and heroic young black male. The film makes sure to remind us of his blackness quite often, with him mentioning how all the racist institutions just wouldn't accept him and his wisdom, mostly due to their whiteness. He only has shortcomings when interacting with the female lead, Anna, who is dynamic, strong and independent (despite practically being dracula's thermos).

The rest of the crew miss no chances to be sexist, racist or religious (which seems to be regarded as a fatal flaw right next to the other two), except for the old kindhearted russian guy and sir Davos Seaworth who ends up being the benevolent, but ultimately dumb and ineffective captain of the ship. There is also a very christian asian cook who actually makes the smart decision to f@ck off on a boat. He is killed with extreme scrutiny by a teleporting dracula.

To be fair, even if you ignore the woke elements the film is plain bad. The CGI is barely passable, dracula's design is pretty much indifferent, the innocent starry-eyed boy's acting made me want to slap him every time he opened his mouth. Dracula can somehow teleport where he needs to be for the kills (and not in the "wow, how did he do that?" way but in the "oh f@ck off" way, at one point teleporting into a tightly locked room with no other entrances, and with armed humans literally standing on the single door it had.

My favorite (read: worst) part was when the black guy at the end started shouting off to Dracula about how he wants to be seen as God but he is in fact a lowly cowardly creature, etc. etc. It comes out of nowhere, and the entire time I was just imagining dracula scratching his bald head in confusion. The final battle of the movie is centered around sinking the ship before it reaches shore, trapping dracula inside. There is only one problem with that: THEY HAVE ESTABLISHED THAT HE CAN FLY. They can literally see the shore, and it is almost swimmable distance, and absolutely no one addresses it.

The end is equally idiotic (in a very distracting manner), with the black guy somehow having decided that he is a vampire hunter now and dracula's nemesis, and chasing after him in the streets of London. Dracula ~for some f@cking reason when he is surrounded by fast food~ decides to prank him in a pub, and the black guy interprets this as dracula being afraid and chasing after him, when the monster is pretty much superhuman. The movie can't make up its mind about dracula being a xenomorph/animal kind of villain (a LOT of scenes are ripped off Alien with a touch of Titanic, and neither inspirations do this film any favors), or a conniving mastermind, so the entire time you are just confused by his behavior.

Look, I have a lot more to say, specific criticisms about why various scenes make zero sense even without the (very distracting) woke idiocy, but I'll just sum it up with this: It's bad.

Anybody that's not familiar with the original source material may not recognize the woke. The Asian female character in the movie
is not from the original and a DEI insert for the movie to check boxes. The opening train and spider sequence is also not from the
original and seems to be added to introduce the DEI character. This new character is pointless and adds nothing to the story. Worse
she actually brings it down. All of her dialog and scenes are unnecessary and can be cut out entirely. All of her dialog is pointing things out or explaining something that doesn't require it. The scenes would be more impactful and effective without her rambling or annoying screeching. The final act has her pulling the mine revelation out of her ass and the ensuing ending with her in the mine is pointless, not in the original and is tacked on to give her something to do and finish the spider part off which never should of been in the first place. Speaking of, the whole train opening with the spider is out of place with the rest of the movie. It's like they wanted to start with a big action scene but that's not what the story is or in line with the rest of the film. The CG is terrible where most of the rest is actually pretty good. With a relatively small budget it's a strange decision to waste a chunk of it on something so pointless
other than to set up something for later for the DEI character. It sounds like I hated this and I really didn't. I actually liked it. The acting is
generally good and the atmosphere, lighting and cinematography are excellent. This not a big budget large scale like the previous Hellboy movie were, and it's not supposed to be. It's a small scale, dark gothic horror story that, outside of the previously stated add-ons is very close to the original material. I probably would of rated it a 3.5 given the distracting DEI character but I decided to round up to a 4. If you are familiar with the original Hellboy comics you will probably like this. If your only exposure is the other movie maybe not so much.

Girl Scientists Love Them Those Big Black Dudes

This film checks all the boxes: drug addicts, gays, interracial scientist love affairs, emasculated man-boys, kickboxing Chinese woman and, naturally, super smart co-ed women in science-y getups. I might have added or missed a few things because of not paying attention to this turd of a film, written and directed by the same talentless goons. I'm surprised they didn't cameo in the film as well. Maybe they did. Who the hell knows. I did not blink long enough to miss the hot sexy scientist with the big black dude, but that's how it is. My internal medicine doctor dates black dudes exclusively.

Classic

Amazing classic that was made before Disney ruined Star Wars, and before Mark Hamill was a woke turd.

The Young Bull

Shane ain't woke... he's a centrist that can make fun of anything or anybody. The FOX News dad bit is hilarious whether you're right or left.