All User Reviews

Stylish albeit flawed.

The title says it all: some characters are going to run a Spanish Prisoner; it being the early archetype of the Nigerian prince scam, as described in the 19th century by French criminologist (and criminal) Vidocq (yes, he actually existed).

The setup is usually more interesting as the pay-off, but in this case, the latter is creative. This one is a psychological thriller, not a flashy hesit flick, which won't be to everyone's taste.

Martin is quite able to carry a non-comedic role here; the rest of the cast is quite adequate, although, to my opinion, the dialogues sound a tad contrived, as does the plot, on occasion. Especially the main character, he seems lacking in either common sense or basic survival instinct.

Of note, a (short) appearance by Ed O'Neill, fresh off Married With Children.

Alas, the cinematography lacks a strong tonal direction, and costumes & sets seem stuck in hesitation between contemporary and post-war.

As for ideology, this is for the before time, so, none.

Overall enjoyable if somewhat stiff.

Bloody fun video game action!

Nothing woke (THANK GOODNESS) to write home about here. Just a bloody fun action fighter with some great comedic moments. The fight scenes definitely were a level up above the first movie. Karl Urban was a great addition to the cast and stole the movie for me. Looking forward to the 3rd one with this same cast if all goes well!

Star Wars rip-off with styrofoam costumes.

Well, technically, Masters always was a Conan rip-off.
When Milius shot his (Conan) movie, some bone-headed executives ordered some toys to tie in with the movie release. Cause it was for kids, a comic adaptation. In their defense, Marvel did have a Conan comic running, except for a more adult crowd.
Anyway, movie comes out, Milius has renounced the skull-headed Tulsa Doom because too expensive, and well, not exactly kid-friendly.
A good chunk of money had already been sunk into the toys by then, and they order a rush job of a cartoon tie-in.
Hence He-Man. Fighting robotic enemies, so, no blood. There. Kids.

This movie is a hot mess. Swords and sandals in current USA (because budget), with Cylons cloned from Darth Vader. Everything looks tragically cheap: sets, costumes, visual effects, even the camera work. The acting is consistently camp, but in a bad way, and ranges from amateurish to 80s ham.
I mean, Cox always was cute, but it just is not enough. Same with Lundgren. He's buff, not cute, but same idea.

The music sounds 'inspired' by the Superman movies. Except for some Jimi Hendrix.


In a nutshell, not even a good watch with the kids.

Undoubtedly competent.

Nothing to say, which is actually praise these days.

The movie is surprisingly well shot, with scene appropriate colour grading, ie: not the pervasive teal/orange Hollywood barf I expected, and decent pacing despite the length.

Most actors put the work in: Urban, despite not being able to fight, McNamee provides a very decent Sonya, and Lawson's Kano is pure Jovial Evil, Chaotic Evil's funny cousin.
Asano and Sanada are wasted in that kind of movies, but they're probably not wealthy enough to easily turn down a Hollywood paycheck.

The fights are frequent, well executed, and in the vein of the games (for what little I know).

No social commentary, and no race-swapping. Except maybe Jade, I sort of figured she was Brazilian or something. The motion-capture model, not the character. At least she should have some hair.
Well, it was all a pixelated mess.

Then again, there never was a redhead in MK; that would have been the real test.

All in all, not a fantastic movie, but it does Mortal Kombat, and it does it well.

The opening battle scenes sets the tone for the bad writing immediately. A city built literally right into the ocean surf deep enough to allow
large ships to sail right up to the walls unimpeded. There are no double walls to repel invaders as was common. Massive breach towers raise up
magically out of nowhere on the ships. Next is the laughable baboon gladiator scene. The CG looks terrible and the baboons look like something out of a zombie movie. It's historically inaccurate and baboons are many time stronger than humans, there is no way a shackled person is going to win in a 1 on 1 against an angry baboon. It gets worse when the Rhino riding gladiator shows up. Then the utter nonsense that is the gladiator filled ships battling it out in a shark infested water filled arena. WTF! This is NOT a sequel but a shameless remake and a soulless copy of the original. Pascal is horribly miscast and just not good here. His character is annoyingly pathetic and spends most of the movie looking like he's about to cry. Mescal as the lead is boring and a far cry from the performance put op by Crowe. Washington again is miscast and appears to embrace the stupidity by comically hamming it up most of the time. Everything is so over the top ridiculous and unrealistic it might as well have been marketed as fantasy
and throw in some dragons to fight as well. Then there is the woke. DEI everywhere again. Black people were not common in Rome at the time. The Numidian people shown as very diverse with a lot of blacks were not in fact black. Macrinus was North African and not black so casting Washington for a historical character is race swapping. While Rome did incorporate North African people into their empire they were white not sub Saharan as shown here and there were not black people in the Senate. There are also females shown in full legionnaire outfit fighting along side the men. There were no female Legionnaires in Ancient Rome.
I've seen people mention female gladiators. I didn't see any but maybe I missed it somehow. Overall unless you are one of those people that like to slow down to stare at a car wreck I would not recommend wasting time on this.

DEI FBI agent and at the end links January 6th to domestic terrorism

Weak argument and woke megacombo.

Starts with an atheist nun that interrogates a Dracula victim. The nun is the main protagonist, she is perfect, infalible and is a walking deus ex machina. Dracula is evil without motivation, he is just an excuse to make the protagonist shine. The story has no sense, no motivation and does not tell anything interesting. Consists of 3 chapters of more or less 90 minutes.
Chapter 1.
Perfect nun interrogates dumb lawyer that has been "draculized". She explains him what and how happened because she knows everything and never misses anything. After the interrogatory (more than a half of the chapter) Dracula comes to the church and want to enter. What for? Just to be bullyed by the supernun! Since the show must go on, Dracula makes his way in the church by making the draculized lawyer allow him to enter. Then he kills everybody except the lawyers fiance and the supernun. The supernun survives just because he just sucks some blood but does not kill him because we need the protagonist alive.
Chapter 2.
Several people on a ship. Dracula initially says that he will need 4 weeks to reach UK. Kills almost everybody in 3 days before being trapped at the UK coast the day 4. Deus ex machina as a superspeed ship in action! Of course, all men are superdumb, and the nun was on the ship half dead until she recovers magically in next scene just to confront dracula. We also have an Indian doctor with a disabled daughter. The daughter does not speak and is deaf, she is there just for inclusion policies, her only role is to unalive herself with poison. Other interesting passengers are recently married couple that travel with their black assistant... and he is the lover of... Right! The guy! (double point). He also is well dressed and educated, he even explains that he is not a servant and not a slave, dies pathetically after being fooled by Dracula.
Chapter 3.
Dracula wakes up 123 years after being "defeated" by the nun. Not the nun has a descendent that is exactly her (even the same super deus ex machina powers). After trapping him and releasing him Dracula meets a "pretty" (that is what everybody says, supposedly) girl that is "very popular" (she fucks with everybody because she is strong and independet) and will marry a noname guy that she just met cheating on her "boyfriend". Don't ask me about the logic. Even having a future husband, she meets every night with dracula and he sucks her blood, eventually transforming her in a vampire. After being incinerated, she revives because she is "undead" and goes to see Dracula for a dinner. She appears and interrupts the nun and her exboyfriend talking with dracula. Since she is desfigured, the exboyfriend kills her. Note that Dracula didn't care about her phisical appearence. Then the nun says the exboyfriend to leave and convinces Dracula to suicide. END.
Yes, it is as random as it seems. You cannot avoid to cheer for Dracula, despite being egoistic, evil and narcicist. How bad is the protagonist, the nun, if you feel more confortable with the antagonist?

Okay, I started watching this one with zero expectations, and honestly, it was pretty easy for me to rate it for this site. Right from the beginning, the protagonist kicks off with that heavy moralizing: the classic "this is what you should do, and this is what you shouldn't" stuff you see in militant-style writing that tries to lecture you on how to behave. But the character quickly slams into reality, and that actually made me want to keep watching.

It's not a high-quality movie by any means. It’s got a ton of plot holes, but it’s decent enough to just kick back and kill some time with.

Is it woke? Yeah, it is. But not in that unbearable, preachy, "let me educate you" way. The main character is a messed-up person, and you're not really supposed to identify with him.

As for the quality: This is obviously subjective, but for me it’s a pretty mediocre popcorn flick. Some parts are actually immersive and make you think (if they’d gone deeper with it, it would’ve been way better), and other parts are funny. Though you’re not sure if they meant it to be or not that way. I wouldn’t recommend it because there’s nothing really new or fresh here, but it’s watchable for a one-time viewing.

More like SHE-MAN 👎

Nasty girlboss all the men are terrified of and is smarter than all the men. Actually all the men seem to be idiots or overemotional, while the
females are smarter and rational. Flamboyantly gay flight attendant. The usual DEI casting choices. Tiny females holding there own against large
men is a theme here. The script thinks its clever and funny but the dialogue and jokes are just eye rolling. The entire plot is ridiculous and silly and the writing isn't much better. By the halfway point everything devolves into silly slapstick stupid comedy.



Spoilers......


The all powerful genius terrorist 'Ghost' is exactly what you would expect from a woke script and I guessed it within 2 seconds of screen time.
A tiny 5' 100lb 29 year old Indian female. She is again an annoying arrogant snarky unlikable character. No surprise she's not really bad and just a victim getting revenge while the real villains are the American white girlboss gov agent and her white male beta American gov agent.
These woke movies are so predictable.

Not too shabby!

For a production on a shoestring budget, I haven't heard a single bad word about it. All the BTS we've been getting is fascinating, too. Markiplier really knows what he's doing when it comes to all this, and he does it well. With close ties to the original designer of the game, it has a solid premise and sticks with it well.

I'll be the first to admit the nonlinear storytelling can get a bit confusing, and that can be a turn-off for some audiences. I'm not gonna go around showing this to my kids or my grandparents. It might even take a few watches before you catch the whole plot- but that was what people praised classics like inception for, so I don't see it as a real problem in my eyes. It's not a traditional horror, it's more like a suspense/cosmic horror situation. That's one of my favorite types, honestly, though I wouldn't have minded a few more overt scares.

Mid-high wokeness for white-passing male cowering under the thumb of a bossy woman, and for themes of god being evil.

Another feminist woke trash remake

The only thing worse than Amy Addams terrible fake accent is the boring pacing of this disaster remake of a classic. The husband as usual in today's man hating woke culture is portrayed as a moron and the son is an emotional weakling. Of course the daughter is a lesbian. All the women are portrayed as boss chicks and the writers desperately try to make them brilliant but fail miserably. An old Amy Addams acting tough is beyond pathetic. Bardem's talent is sadly wasted in this trash. Feminism has truly brought Hollywood into the dark ages with another pointless remake.