All User Reviews

I really was hoping this would be at least watchable as I like pirate movies. But it's not. Hollywood loves to latch onto minorities with limited to no talent and just shoving them down everyone's throats. Chopra Jones is their newest DEI project they seem to be pushing as a female action star and like usual her acting sucks. The movie is filmed competently enough but the acting is pretty bad all around, even Karl Urban is pretty bad here. The action scenes are decent but unfortunately this is nothing more than a girl power feminist fantasy. Even though the movie is heavily black casting it takes place in the Caribbean in
the 1800's where there was an actual large population of Black as well as Indian so the Indian/black couple and black casting is probably realistic. There are also bad and good portrayed black and white as well. The Chopra Jones character however is so over the top superhuman its laughable. She has no problem physically fighting and overpowering multiple large male pirates at once. She gets clubbed in the back while laying down at full swing from a standing pirate and just shrugs it off then hits him in the leg with a seashell and he collapses to the ground. Pirates can't manage to shoot her from 20 feet away with a clean line of fire while standing still. This is utter and complete feminist nonsense and I shut it down after about 45 minutes. Not recommended.

When I sat down to watch this movie, I was fully braced for it to come loaded with all the injected diversity crap, just like the last two Mortal Kombat games where Ed Boon (and his "diverse" dev team) turned the whole thing into what I call Mortal WOKEmbat. Even though I’d read and heard some good things about the movie, I was still super skeptical, so I watched it with really low expectations.

What I got was that weird mix I’ve seen in reviews of other films: there are moments where you’re like “Damn, this is actually really good,” and then others where you start wondering if staring at a blank wall would be a better use of your time. Basically, I’ve learned to watch movies with this calm, apathetic vibe where I just go “Okay, this part’s solid… but that part? Nah.” I won’t get into details because I don’t want to drop spoilers.

The movie has some really impressive special effects. The story is better than the last one, but it’s still not enough to make it a genuinely good movie overall. I was thinking about catching it in theaters and I’m really glad I didn’t, because it’s not completely free from "the message". It’s not shoved down your throat, but it’s still not totally out of the claws of that unnecessary change philosophy either.

Minor spoiler → It feels like a 21st-century movie with 90s-style editing that just didn’t know how to properly wrap things up at the end.

It’s decent if you just want to look at cool effects and colorful lights. Not much more than that.

Another unneeded sequel ruining a good name. This is just an attempt to keep these movies going for the gen z crowd. There are 3 new young characters introduced to replace the originals. 1 black male, 1 white male and 1 Spanish mixed half n half female. So DEI. They are annoying and unlikable. Everything they do is obvious and unrealistic, they aren't sneaky and stealthy. All the tricks are CG this time and look bad and take you right out of any plausibility they originals had. Then there's the woke. The first scene has the gen z 3 as I will call them steeling from 3 white male crypto bros. The villain is a ridiculous nasty girlboss sounded by beta males. Her accent and performance are hilariously bad. Lots of woke social justice comments thrown around throughout the movie. The overall theme here is the gen z 3 are better than the originals. The originals basically stand around the entire movie while they do everything and think of everything. This is a staple of woke replacement. Introduce new amazing character that you prop up while dragging down the originals by making them stupid and unneeded. I would bet they are planning another one with only the new characters. The villains family history is those pesky white supremacist Nazis again. They just had to have a scene with the midget 5 ft. 90lb female beating up and evading 3 large male police officers in an enclosed room. I made it through the entire thing but it is not a good movie. Can't really recommend this one.


Spoilers....



The big reveal is the new DEI black kid is the brother of the white Nazi descendant female. Turns out her Nazi father was banging the black housemaid and had a kid and she thought she killed them. Yes really. Also DEI brother is the genius mastermind who set the entire heist and revenge plan up. Now that he has his birthright back he's giving up the diamond and all assets and giving everything to the South African communities. Wow.

I originally read the book back when it came out so it's been a while but from what I can remember this is incredibly close to the book. Great acting and writing, the FX are excellent and the humor is great. The book is fairly big and this sometimes feels a little condensed but at 2.5 hours it's already pretty long. Despite the runtime it never gets boring. There seems to be a divide here on whether or not it's woke so here's my response to some of the complaints. There is no climate change ever mentioned once anywhere in the movie. It is an invasive alien organism destroying the sun. That's it. The diversity in the panel is because it's a global initiative, this is not an America saving the world. This is on a global scale with many governments. Of course there will be
diversity, why would there not. The female lead is not a girlboss in any way. She's quirky and awkward, not nasty, vile, aggressive or violent. Referring to him by Grace. It's literally his last name, many people call each other by their last name. It's not unusual. The alien species is a non humanoid species that looks rock like. Gender is never once brought up. When asking about the mates name using 'their' one single time in this case is the same as saying he/she when asking someone their pets name or gender. If gender was brought up then I would agree it's woke. Adrian is male, Adrienne is female. The name is dual sex the same as
Nicky/Nikki or Danny/Dani or Terry/Teri. The only woke thing I saw was the black 'helper' Carl. He is not in the books and was added for the movie. This is clearly a DEI character put there for comedy and to help the white male lead. Not necessary and a woke point. I recommend both reading the book and watching the movie, they are both great.

Based on a true story from 2009. It's watchable but some lazy bad writing hurts this one a lot. The acting is pretty good but the story takes some liberties with what actually happened. There is a weird scene where the head of the coast guard makes a speech detailing hypothermia right after getting the call they are missing and before ordering the search. It's very out of place unrealistic and jarring to the flow of the story. There is also some editing issues where scenes change between night and day at odd times making the depiction of days versus the number of hours they were out there make no sense. There is also inconsistencies with the storm, sometimes torrential rain and the next scene barely raining and not storm clouds. Speaking of the storm it is called a tropical
cyclone in a news report and many times radar is shown where a tropical cyclone or a hurricane/tropical storm is depicted. They even talk about the storm making landfall. This takes place in Feb in Florida, there are no tropical storms in the U.S. in Feb. This was a very strong storm pushed through by a cold front called a bomb cyclone but they
do not move like cyclones. It is a straight line front that moves downward. Most of the acting is pretty good and the storm fix look good as well. The only woke I saw was the overrepresentation of females in the Coast Guard. Only about 15 percent is female but they are everywhere here including not 1 but both search pilots. The mixed race couple is accurate to real life so not woke and the race comment at the beginning I initially rolled my eyes at turned out to be a joke between friends so wouldn't really call that woke. Overall watchable if you are interested in the story but probably a one time watch.

Stylish albeit flawed.

The title says it all: some characters are going to run a Spanish Prisoner; it being the early archetype of the Nigerian prince scam, as described in the 19th century by French criminologist (and criminal) Vidocq (yes, he actually existed).

The setup is usually more interesting as the pay-off, but in this case, the latter is creative. This one is a psychological thriller, not a flashy heist flick, which won't be to everyone's taste.

Martin is quite able of carrying a non-comedic role here; the rest of the cast is adequate, although, to my opinion, the dialogues sound a tad contrived, as does the plot, on occasion. Especially the main character, he seems lacking in either common sense or basic survival instinct.

Of note, a (short) appearance by Ed O'Neill, fresh off Married With Children.

Alas, the cinematography lacks a strong tonal direction, and costumes & sets seem stuck in hesitation between contemporary and post-war.

As for ideology, this is from the before time, so, none.

Overall enjoyable if somewhat stiff.

Bloody fun video game action!

Nothing woke (THANK GOODNESS) to write home about here. Just a bloody fun action fighter with some great comedic moments. The fight scenes definitely were a level up above the first movie. Karl Urban was a great addition to the cast and stole the movie for me. Looking forward to the 3rd one with this same cast if all goes well!

Star Wars rip-off with styrofoam costumes.

Well, technically, Masters always was a Conan rip-off.
When Milius shot his (Conan) movie, some bone-headed executives ordered some toys to tie in with the movie release. Cause it was for kids, a comic adaptation. In their defense, Marvel did have a Conan comic running, except for a more adult crowd.
Anyway, movie comes out, Milius has renounced the skull-headed Tulsa Doom because too expensive, and well, not exactly kid-friendly.
A good chunk of money had already been sunk into the toys by then, and they order a rush job of a cartoon tie-in.
Hence He-Man. Fighting robotic enemies, so, no blood. There. Kids.

This movie is a hot mess. Swords and sandals in current USA (because budget), with Cylons cloned from Darth Vader. Everything looks tragically cheap: sets, costumes, visual effects, even the camera work. The acting is consistently camp, but in a bad way, and ranges from amateurish to 80s ham.
I mean, Cox always was cute, but it just is not enough. Same with Lundgren. He's buff, not cute, but same idea.

The music sounds 'inspired' by the Superman movies. Except for some Jimi Hendrix.


In a nutshell, not even a good watch with the kids.

Undoubtedly competent.

Nothing to say, which is actually praise these days.

The movie is surprisingly well shot, with scene appropriate colour grading, ie: not the pervasive teal/orange Hollywood barf I expected, and decent pacing despite the length.

Most actors put the work in: Urban, despite not being able to fight, McNamee provides a very decent Sonya, and Lawson's Kano is pure Jovial Evil, Chaotic Evil's funny cousin.
Asano and Sanada are wasted in that kind of movies, but they're probably not wealthy enough to easily turn down a Hollywood paycheck.

The fights are frequent, well executed, and in the vein of the games (for what little I know).

No social commentary, and no race-swapping. Except maybe Jade, I sort of figured she was Brazilian or something. The motion-capture model, not the character. At least she should have some hair.
Well, it was all a pixelated mess.

Then again, there never was a redhead in MK; that would have been the real test.

All in all, not a fantastic movie, but it does Mortal Kombat, and it does it well.

The opening battle scenes sets the tone for the bad writing immediately. A city built literally right into the ocean surf deep enough to allow
large ships to sail right up to the walls unimpeded. There are no double walls to repel invaders as was common. Massive breach towers raise up
magically out of nowhere on the ships. Next is the laughable baboon gladiator scene. The CG looks terrible and the baboons look like something out of a zombie movie. It's historically inaccurate and baboons are many time stronger than humans, there is no way a shackled person is going to win in a 1 on 1 against an angry baboon. It gets worse when the Rhino riding gladiator shows up. Then the utter nonsense that is the gladiator filled ships battling it out in a shark infested water filled arena. WTF! This is NOT a sequel but a shameless remake and a soulless copy of the original. Pascal is horribly miscast and just not good here. His character is annoyingly pathetic and spends most of the movie looking like he's about to cry. Mescal as the lead is boring and a far cry from the performance put op by Crowe. Washington again is miscast and appears to embrace the stupidity by comically hamming it up most of the time. Everything is so over the top ridiculous and unrealistic it might as well have been marketed as fantasy
and throw in some dragons to fight as well. Then there is the woke. DEI everywhere again. Black people were not common in Rome at the time. The Numidian people shown as very diverse with a lot of blacks were not in fact black. Macrinus was North African and not black so casting Washington for a historical character is race swapping. While Rome did incorporate North African people into their empire they were white not sub Saharan as shown here and there were not black people in the Senate. There are also females shown in full legionnaire outfit fighting along side the men. There were no female Legionnaires in Ancient Rome.
I've seen people mention female gladiators. I didn't see any but maybe I missed it somehow. Overall unless you are one of those people that like to slow down to stare at a car wreck I would not recommend wasting time on this.

DEI FBI agent and at the end links January 6th to domestic terrorism

Weak argument and woke megacombo.

Starts with an atheist nun that interrogates a Dracula victim. The nun is the main protagonist, she is perfect, infalible and is a walking deus ex machina. Dracula is evil without motivation, he is just an excuse to make the protagonist shine. The story has no sense, no motivation and does not tell anything interesting. Consists of 3 chapters of more or less 90 minutes.
Chapter 1.
Perfect nun interrogates dumb lawyer that has been "draculized". She explains him what and how happened because she knows everything and never misses anything. After the interrogatory (more than a half of the chapter) Dracula comes to the church and want to enter. What for? Just to be bullyed by the supernun! Since the show must go on, Dracula makes his way in the church by making the draculized lawyer allow him to enter. Then he kills everybody except the lawyers fiance and the supernun. The supernun survives just because he just sucks some blood but does not kill him because we need the protagonist alive.
Chapter 2.
Several people on a ship. Dracula initially says that he will need 4 weeks to reach UK. Kills almost everybody in 3 days before being trapped at the UK coast the day 4. Deus ex machina as a superspeed ship in action! Of course, all men are superdumb, and the nun was on the ship half dead until she recovers magically in next scene just to confront dracula. We also have an Indian doctor with a disabled daughter. The daughter does not speak and is deaf, she is there just for inclusion policies, her only role is to unalive herself with poison. Other interesting passengers are recently married couple that travel with their black assistant... and he is the lover of... Right! The guy! (double point). He also is well dressed and educated, he even explains that he is not a servant and not a slave, dies pathetically after being fooled by Dracula.
Chapter 3.
Dracula wakes up 123 years after being "defeated" by the nun. Not the nun has a descendent that is exactly her (even the same super deus ex machina powers). After trapping him and releasing him Dracula meets a "pretty" (that is what everybody says, supposedly) girl that is "very popular" (she fucks with everybody because she is strong and independet) and will marry a noname guy that she just met cheating on her "boyfriend". Don't ask me about the logic. Even having a future husband, she meets every night with dracula and he sucks her blood, eventually transforming her in a vampire. After being incinerated, she revives because she is "undead" and goes to see Dracula for a dinner. She appears and interrupts the nun and her exboyfriend talking with dracula. Since she is desfigured, the exboyfriend kills her. Note that Dracula didn't care about her phisical appearence. Then the nun says the exboyfriend to leave and convinces Dracula to suicide. END.
Yes, it is as random as it seems. You cannot avoid to cheer for Dracula, despite being egoistic, evil and narcicist. How bad is the protagonist, the nun, if you feel more confortable with the antagonist?