Kurt Hansen's Reviews
For the viewers to decide
You Can't Teach Love is about a career-driven, corporate super woman crawling up that ladder to the top who just can't get a grip on being down-to-earth, much less take care of a child for a few weeks. She's late, doesn't bother to read instructions from the school, makes off handed comments about how the school is "free spirited" and littered with scooters and basically just shits on everything not corporate. All in the first 15 minutes until I just turned this slop off.
I imagine this film gets in your face regarding her career until, as is hinted early on, she gets "burned out" and must shed her pant suit for love of the kind of not-so-manly kindergarten teacher. Please, if you can watch the whole film, post a review!
Created: 01-21-2026
How did I bloody miss this?
Bloody Hell isn't perfect but I'm giving it an excellent review anyhow because it's just awesome. So much damn fun, blood and guts, it's everything a film needs to be. There's just enough gore to be fun and even a little love thrown in as well.
Nothing woke. Check it out.
Created: 01-21-2026
Now, that's unexpected
The Rip being a Netflix movie, I didn't hold out much hope for it at all since it's a known fact the they throw money at the most shit screenplays and this one has Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in it. I don't know if or how much they're past their prime, but I bet the two aren't cheap anyhow.
Turns out, The Rip isn't too bad. Zero woke garbage. I mean, there's women on the police force if you want to split hairs. And the film's first half is a lot more fun than the second half since that part devolves into a big police chase and gunfight. And it's been done one way or another forever, but it's fun and the story keeps us engaged.
*** Spoiler Alert ***
The one problem I had with this movie is these damn goody-two-shoes cops and, well, almost everyone involved being such sniveling do-gooders. They should have hidden the money and stole a bunch of it. Like, what the hell is the government going to do with the drug money? That kind of annoyed me.
Created: 01-16-2026
An intellect's film overloaded with CGI
Dust Bunny is a horror movie with a sub-context, although a light one. Normally, I don't like films where film school kids and intellects take to the Internet to pontificate their meaning, but like I say, the sub-context or deeper meaning to the Dust Bunny isn't too complicated. Thank God for that and we have Mads Mikkelsen as the neighbor hitman and I always like Mads Mikkelsen.
The films starts out a bit disjointed, fantasy-like and for me it was a little off-putting to the point I almost stopped watching. Kind of like a Wes Andersen film with a distinct "Bioshock" vibe, or Zissou. It gets better as it moves forward and the story comes together.
The movie relies on CGI way too much. A little special effects would go a long way rather than using CGI for what looks like every scene.
No DEI nonsense that we saw. Story is above average and the aesthetic is cool. At close to 2 hours, it might be trying for an Oscar. I'd say give it a watch, Dust Bunny is better than most films in the last year.
Created: 01-14-2026
Complex film
I'm happy to say that Rabbit Trap is a bit too complex for me half watching it, but at least it's a film that makes us think and doesn't end ambiguously. It's my belief that so many films finish open-ended because the kiddos cannot accept an ending they do not agree with or, I guess, understand.
Not that I'm unable to comprehend the plot, I just went into this Folk Horror film not expecting much. It really is a cool film if you watch it with intent and, you know what, I'm going to give it a re-watch with full my full attention.
Zero woke in a new film. Refreshing. I'm recommending this as a watch, if you capture the details.
Created: 01-13-2026
Let's see.
I bet Gen Z influencers dig this film with such super terrific jobs these imaginary characters have traveling all over the globe writing about 5-star resorts, staying for free, eating, drinking and partying with the destination being a gay wedding.
People We Meet on Vacation is not a rom-com I want to keep. It's no Eternity, which is actually a great movie, and it's not The Kissing Booth. Standard faire, for the most part, with a large amount of cringe stuffed into the early parts of the film. And shitty music.
There's absolutely no reason we need this ultra-lame, contrived love story sandwiched between two gay men getting married. There you have it. To check a box. If you make it past the men pooling it up in the beginning all boxes are checked until the end when they get happily married. Other reviews are correct, there's no need to continue watching. The story is garbage and I think it was just a vehicle for getting gay marriage into yet another film.
Previous review:
I found this movie today and was surprised to see a review on this site already. Some comments and reviews they say it's a gay focused film. I'll never downvote or call out shutting off a film once the obligatory gay couple pops up, usually making out or otherwise in bed with each other. The problem is, absolutely no reviews, trailers, wiki or anything else from the media giants mention this film being gay focused. So now I'm going to watch it.
Let's see.
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Created: 01-12-2026
Prescient, as they say, but a bit long and melancholy
It's hard to tell if Romy Schneider was past her prime in Death Watch or not since I adore her and she holds up well in this film. And the film has a pretty fine cast all around, it's just that the story and, I think, character development could have been so much more.
Compared to modern films, Death Watch is heads and tails above anything today, but it really is depressing. These characters have layers, for sure, but they're overshadowed by the dreary atmosphere and oftentimes off-putting story.
Of course, there's nothing woke at all in this film, so I recommend watching it on an early Saturday morning, maybe if you wake too early with a minor hangover. It's that kind of film to watch.
Created: 01-08-2026
Klaatu barada nikto
The Day the Earth Stood Still is one of the classic science fiction films of all time. Reviewers have said that in a time of men in monster suits and close-ups of oversized spiders, this film stands out and I agree.
The main flaw I've always felt is that the people of Earth are so dimwitted, arrogant and self-centered that they utterly disregard
Klaatu and Gort, even after they're told Earth will be zapped into oblivion. It somewhat annoys the viewer, but if we take a step back, nothing has really changed in modern times.
And, no. I haven't even watched the remake. What a disgrace. I wonder if they packed it full of woke ideology, though.
Created: 01-06-2026
Slow burn to nowhere.
The film is shit. It's so damn slow. I could care less to even turn subtitles on despite half the dialog being in Russian. It's going for tension, a slow burn that doesn't work in the end. The best part of I.S.S. is the outrageous anti-gravity space fights, but even those are slow probably due to the actual lack of gravity.
And an entire scene devoted to the affairs and relationships of the onboard space marine, ass-kicking, black lesbian. At this point, I'm going to increase the woke score for I.S.S. quite a bit for the only reason that all this nonsense is grating. We got a DEI space floating crew and does Ariana DeBose winning Best Supporting Actress for the remake of West Side Story (a.k.a. Trans Side Story) and being a queer IRL entitle her to demand representation on the I.S.S. or were the filmmakers bound by natural laws to include a queer shipmate? We will never know.
Created: 01-05-2026
One of my absolute favorites
It's not perfect, but in my eyes it is. Stands the test of time, so far. Great cast, great one liners and worth repeat watches.
Created: 12-31-2025
