Kurt Hansen's Reviews
Bugonia and those forgotten Academy Award winners
I did like Poor Things from Yorgos Lanthimos. Did it deserve an award? No. Nominated films today do not deserve any awards. Zero. Half the time they're forgotten in 10 seconds. Think: Captain Phillips and Barkhad Abdi. Bugonia is heading for an Academy nomination and it's not terrible, not great either.
I had to fast forward most of the second half due to disgust of the main "antagonists". Don and Teddy are far too eccentric and full of nonsense that they need to be skipped, but I do like Emma Stone and she adds a lot to the film. Holy Christ, I forgot she was in Movie 43. That film was awful. I think Yorgos and Stone's collaboration is moving her career in a fun direction.
And we all saw the twist at the end coming.
As for the not-so-subtle Hollywood leftist psychobabble in Bugonia: it's there alright, but I'm taking a pass on calling it out since it kind of fits the narrative. Kind of. Like other reviewers said on this site, just because it's there doesn't immediately woke score the entire film. You'll know it when you see it if you watch Bugonia and it's worth a watch, just not an Academy award which it will for sure receive.
Created: 11-26-2025
Not a cell phone made movie
With so many absolutely terrible movies made by anyone with a cell phone and a few spare cardboard boxes these days, I had few expectations for Dog Fugitive. But, I really like dogs and Dr. Fluffy is a cute little pup. First on the list: Dr. Fluffy's voice is grating just like Stuart Little and my wife hates that mouse, so our pup didn't win any popularity points with her. The story is kind of silly. Like, everyone talks to Dr. Fluffy like she's human and completely ignores the fact that she's a talking dog. And she wears disguises and sunglasses and even robs a convenance store for a little while.
Some of the scenes really had me laughing for no reason. Dr. Fluffy sitting at the dinner table or in a lawn chair. She's actually quite talented. I want to know how they got her to stay still in some of these scenes. Anyhow, this is absolutely not a homemade movie with high school drama club kids acting. It ain't good either, but done well enough that I'd recommend it for anyone just chilling out looking for a stupid laugh. Unless you don't like Stuart Little.
Created: 11-24-2025
Avocado or Clam Dip. Are you marinading me?
These cannibal women are super weird. The movie takes a ton of sideways smacks at the women's liberation movement and the N.O.W. back in the day. Wow! Remember them? Hey. They're still around, eating granola and not shaving.
Anyhow, there's not much to say about Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. It often borders on cringe but the movie is lighthearted enough for us to forgive them for it. Men are not food stuffs.
Created: 11-24-2025
Had to find my bearings after starting this film
Now I remember. I started and may have even finished Terrifier and might not have even seen the second film in the series. It was kind of kooky film, but for some reason, I never categorically finished any of the Terrifier films, quite possibly because Jenna Kanell who, according to the Internet, is the great socialist, ecofeminist (WTF that is), vegan lesbian, bi-sexual or whatever we have these days actress, sporting the short man-boy haircut.
Even after posting this review, I just couldn't place how or where I knew of Jenna Kanell. I really knew a lot about her, except that she was this big lesbian socialist. Then it hit me. I must have surfed to a non-lesbian related website that featured her and she's downright gorgeous without the awful haircut. Why do that to yourself? Fine if you're a woman who likes women, but we humans kind of enjoy looking nice, right?
Anyhow, I got to the part in Faceless After Dark where Jenna is in the sack with her Asian girl lover. Bluuch. Poor Jenna. Partisan politics stole her beauty. Wait. Aren't socialists inherently ugly? Like they spent 10 years in the gulag? The scene here is pure propaganda since no healthy man will find that a sexy one. Off you go.
Created: 11-24-2025
An emotional downer worth a re-watch
I wanted to re-watch Paris, Texas for a while now since I remembered that I liked the film, but none of the plot. Must have watched it a long time ago. It's an emotional downer, for sure. Not much to be happy about, but a whole lot to think about. Zero films today are made with such subtle - and not so subtle - flaws in their characters and with an ending that's not completely ambiguous. It's a great film that provides enough to think about without falling into the film-school scholar or, worse yet, hipster pontificator, zone. Paris, Texas is worth the re-watch.
Created: 11-24-2025
Hallmark Christmas Love Story in Paris
Every now and then I dig a good Rom Com and I've been caught searching for, "most cringy Rom Coms in the universe" too. They're so sappy and predictable like, "The Kissing Booth" (Parts 1, 2 and 3) or "The Other Zoey" and all these Christmas films. Champagne Problems starts out as a Hallmark Channel movie and, lucky for us, it quickly morphs into a complete full Rom Com with and the bells, whistles and minor contention that goes with it.
If you dislike the predictability, can’t stomach the sappy storyline; if unrealistic happiness and romance makes you want to barf, this film is not for you. I get it. No need to explain it to me, I know Rom Coms are unhealthy.
I wanted to find “Sydney Price” a corporate driven no-nonsense woke woman power character, but she just turns out to be your typical Rom Com lady getting bonked on the head by love when she’s not looking. And there is an 80’s style gay man in the film, but I can’t say they have an agenda with him. I will add to the score in case that offends you.
The little dog was awesome.
Created: 11-21-2025
Wowie. 12M 18S.
12 Minutes, 18 Seconds. That's how long it took me to get physically ill and turn this little gem of a movie right off. I get it. We love who we love says Jerry Springer. And I don't need to see teenage boys making out. I double checked all around and didn't find any mention of the overall gay theme of the movie. Isn't the main character gay? I'm awful sure I witnessed a hot love daydream with him and another boy. Maybe it's just a phase and once he gets super powers, the narrative arc changes. Departing Seniors GTFO.
Created: 11-20-2025
I'm absolutely not ashamed for enjoying this film, Bri-Bri
I like Kevin James and Alan Ritchson and there's absolutely nothing to not like about Playdate. That's my opinion and I say it should be yours too! It's just a silly movie full of great music and Reacher plays his part as Jeff awesome.
Am I left wondering questions about my existence and what it all means in this universe? No. Did the film trail off into an open-ended conversation about Bri-Bri and Jeff's trepidatious relationship? No. Did Bri-Bri have to iron out family issues to become a better man? Well, kind of, actually, but no.
I hope they make a sequel. Hell, they can just call it "Playdate 2" for all I care. The Mama Mafia was classic. Just a fun film with zero ambitions other than being silly and fun.
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Created: 11-17-2025
This is our CGI and AI future
God. This movie is awful. We see in the first few minutes how absolutely terrible the CGI is. Car chases and explosions in the 80's, when we all had to actually blow shit up, were just so awesome. And here's our CGI and AI future: bubblegum chewing "artists" at their computers over Dar Robinson.
And let's spend a majority of the film watching truly distasteful characters. Way too late for the father's redemption the unicorn should have spilled his guts a few seconds after they met. It's not particularly woke, but so funny now that we have evil, disgusting, rich and unlikable characters, they're all white (except the scientist types, I guess).
I can't remember if I like Jenna Ortega. I didn't like the remake of Beetlejuice. She seems alright and the film kind of highlights her, and she's cool enough for that, despite her not being a "pure heart" or whatever, more of an angsty teen. And I liked the St. Vincent song at the end (let's talk woke right there!). I can't recommend this film.
Created: 11-14-2025
Babysittin' kids with a twist
A review on IMDb says Night of the Reaper is best watched as background noise, and I kind of agree. It's quite slow up until a little over the half way point and for some reason, I didn't much care for the youngish actors / actresses (Jessica Clement) in the movie. Don't know why.
I am on a winning streak finding films with unnoticeable or zero qualities of woke these days, without even reaching back to the 70's. None of that here. I mean, the plot isn't bad, it was made well enough; I find Night of the Reaper just not too interesting. I will however, recommend it to watch if you've got nothing better to do.
Created: 11-14-2025
