Pha-Q woke's Reviews
A Solid 90's Godzilla Movie
A big step up for the franchise. A lot of monster action and the special fx look very good. They actually hold up well even today.
The close ups on monster faces still look off and baby Godzilla is a bit corny looking. The acting is pretty good. The non Japanese actors
are again the worst of the bunch but this time even they aren't too bad. The story while still a little out there in places isn't bad
and this is a generally enjoyable watch that's much better than most recent entries.
Created: 12-29-2024
Yet Another Unfunny Not Scary-Horror/Comedy
A group of 6 male friends with the must have black and Spanish token inserts for the box checkers. Some white people bad, natives good and wholesome bs. Then there is a out of nowhere scene with a bunch of racist homophobic rednecks in a bar. The scene just happens
all of a sudden and makes no sense whatsoever. There is a black deputy in a small backwoods Michigan town in the 80's-DEI.
Average to bad acting from most of the cast. Karlos is notably bad, made worse by the fact that his acting seems to get worse
as the movie progresses. His character is supposed to be some kind of hardened badass combat vet, but he just comes off as a
douchebag try hard wannabe. The dialogue and jokes are awful. This is supposedly 1986 but it doesn't feel like it's in the 80's
at all, if anything if feels more 90's. These so called friends don't really act like they are actually friends at all. They are oddly upset and act like some random bartender they met for 1 hour was one of their lifelong best friends. Nothing makes sense. There is a scene where one of them catches a quick shot of the creature on a camcorder and they all takes turns watching it at full speed and not a single one thinks to hit pause
to see what it is they are looking at. It takes to 59 min mark for the first kill in an 85 minute movie and when it finally happens its offscreen and the aftermath fx look bad. The exploding CG truck looks worse. All the kills are fairly tame with nothing you haven't seen before. No humor, no scares. It's too bad as there are some very well shot scenes and the cinematography is generally very good.
Created: 12-27-2024
Terrible Cliché Unfunny Mess
The usual casual anti white racism that is ever present in these all black movies. The acting is average the story is the same old tired poor black business being shut down by the evil white man for code violations just must be saved because it's a staple of the black community. The jokes are eye rolling and not funny. The whole thing is just too stupid. The filmmakers didn't bother to even know the most basics about the game of bowling. 30 minutes was all I could take so the wokeness may get worse later on.
Created: 12-27-2024
Failed attempt At Grindhouse
Nothing woke. This is a terrible movie. But it's supposed to be. It's meant to be a grindhouse style action comedy gorefest, and it is. That means bad acting, bad FX, bad dialogue, silly story and weird cuts and editing. If you enjoy these types of movies you may like this one. For me it was a bit much, these movies are best when they are made to appear to be a serious attempt that turns out bad. This just feels like it was made to be bad and it doesn't work as well because of it.
Created: 12-24-2024
Another Social Media Focused Bottom Feeder
Lesbian couple is the focus of the 'story' if you can call it that. Bad acting. Weird jarring editing and cuts. Random flashes of static images inserted into scenes. The whole cast of characters is internet famous annoying social media punchable idiots. Who do directors keep populating their movies with horrible unlikable characters? Once again this is NOT horror. It's a bunch of annoying characters talking, arguing and screaming at each other for 95 percent of the movie and then throw a little 'horror' in for the last 10 minutes. It's trash. There's
isn't even any good kills, scares or gore.
Created: 12-17-2024
No Comedy, No Horror
This is another failed comedy/horror. The comedy isn't funny and there is no horror to be found. The acting is not so much bad as it is bad directing. This type of story has been done before many times and there is nothing original here. I was bored and ready to give up by the 30 minute mark. The fx are ok but it's not worth sitting through the entire movie for. There is some DEI over representation and it may get more woke further into the movie but I didn't care to waste time finding out.
Created: 12-17-2024
Anti-Woke Perfection
Not only is this not woke it's fully anti-woke. The acting is good and the humor is spot on. This feels like one of those classic 90's comedies when movie makers weren't afraid to be offensive with their humor. The story and humor highlights the stupidity of the woke ideology and exposes it for the mental disorder that it is.
Created: 12-08-2024
Ok For a Younger Kids Movie.....Maybe.
DEI overrepresentation in casting is about the extant of woke. This is basicaly a 80's or 90's throwback kids horror movie.
It's not the worst thing ever but the acting is pretty bad by all the kids. It's a bit cliché but the story could of worked with better acting and writing. Younger kids may enjoy it but that's about all.
Created: 11-28-2024
Another Unfunny 'Comedy'
Listed as a comedy but I don't see how. It's really just incompetent old white male failing. It's not funny at all, just a drama. It's meant to be a fish out of water with a character faced with unfamiliar situations. The problem is the Keaton character seems to be terrible at everything. Hes a bad father, bad husband and seemingly a bad business man as he's horribly in debt and about to loose his business. When a character is this incompetent at everything the fish out of water scenario doesn't work as it just comes off as pathetic and not funny. The acting is fine but some of dialogue is poorly written especially the kids. This is another movie where the kids lines are unrealistic for their ages. No 9 year olds talk or act like this little girl does. The son is almost completely ignored
and could of been left out of the movie entirely as the smart competent 9 year old girl helping her clueless father is the focus. Then
there's the gay guy who just sobs like a infant every time the wind blows.
Created: 11-22-2024
Amateur Arthouse Fail
Implied mixed race hook up where the beta white manbun is obsessed with the black female and wants more than a one time hookup
but the black female shoots him down. The U.S. president speaks with a british accent for some stupid reason. The acting and dialogue in general are not good. The background music is odd and out of place. This is listed as a political satire, dark comedy, horror but it's painfully
unfunny, slow and dull. As a horror it fails as well. The FX look cheap and there are no scares. Add to this weird lighting and terrible green screen shots and it just comes across as a failed attempt at arthouse cinema.
Created: 11-22-2024
